Top 10 things I will never hear as a parent
Joe, thanks so much for getting us to bed on time so we can get a good night’s sleep and not be complete asshats the next day.
- Joe, thanks for making me apologize to my friend for doing something derpy to him. It made me a better person.
- Joe, why don’t we sit down and talk about history for a bit? You can tell me more about tanks.
- Joe, tell me more about what it was like back in your day. Especially about how much harder it was. Or better.
- Joe, any advice you can give me on how to please a woman?
- Joe, thank you for taking away my electronics for a week so I could focus on my homework.
- Joe, the best experience of my life was mowing the lawn every week. Right up there with picking up the dog poo.
- Joe, can we move, again so I can pack and unpack all your books? All 800 boxes of them.
- Joe, can you come and visit me and my friends at lunch time so we can all talk about life, the universe and girls?
- Joe, you were right.
Well, the truth is I could hear all those things sarcastically.
But I’m ok with that. When they’re 30 and have kids of their own, they will understand.