The Zoo Rules
The oldest declines to navigate us there.
He’s had enough of navigating. Maybe for life.
So the Prettiest-girl-in-the-world gets us there even though I take a wrong exit. I swear I took the Washington Street exit, but I didn’t. But, by doing so, we found a neat little shopping area. Not that we’ll visit it, but it’s never a bad thing to get a little lost now and then. Hey, you never know what you’ll find and it’s not like we’re geting lost in a barrio in LA. There may be bad areas here, in fact, I’m sure there are, but we’re fine in and around our hotel.
The Zoo is in Balboa Park. The same place as the Air and Space Museum.
Parking is free.
That makes my freaking day.
I say, “That makes my freaking day!”
There is a gasp from the back seat.
The oldest whispers we can’t say freaking.
I’m still a little unsure what I can say and can’t say. Like George Carlin’s rant about what words can’t be used on TV, there are words the boys can’t use. And therefore, I can’t use.
These include, the F-word, the C-word, the Sh-word, the N-word (they haven’t heard a lot of rap, yet), the b-word (which can be used on TV nowadays,) the MF-word, the CS-word, but also include things like crap, holy crap, hell, holy hell, and dick (as in you’re a complete dick.) On a bad day, in my previous life, I would have used up about 1/2 of them the first time I banged my head on the car roof.
So I have to watch it.
We even had a plan. We’d take the skyride to the far end of the zoo. The skyride was free. I avoided saying that was freaking awesome, but it was.
Then, we’d start at the top of the map and work our way down. Knowing we’d be pooped by mid-day, we would take the tour bus for the rest of the zoo. Plus, the tour bus rides are free. And, once inside, they don’t charge extra for the cool animals. You get in, you can see everything. Even the panda, though you have to line up to see him.
I can say cool
But great plan, right?
Rule #2 (rule #1 was always make sure we’re all well-fed) Always have a good plan. Rule #3 has become, much to my sorrow, Watch your language.
So we take the skyride. It’s not that impressive. We see the park, but not many of the animals. I tell the boys I think I can see Vancouver. The youngest disputes the fact. Vigorously. He’s pretty sure I’m seeing San Diego instead. He may right. The oldest just shakes his head. I greatly fear I will be a constant embarrassment in his life. Worse, I’ll enjoy it.
We reached the top of the park.
It was time to see the animals up and close. And hope the youngest doesn’t want to poke the lions.